The Stars Have Not Yet Aligned PV Beckett Closed

Anastasia had finally finished her stupid detention and came out of the greenhouse, the evening breeze cooling her skin. She sighed. She knew she was lashing out at people today, and while she knew she needed to control herself, she just couldn't. That made her even angrier since she hated not being in control, and it made her lash out even more. She just needed to breathe, write back to her parents, and be as nice as she normally was. 

Her cap sleeves weren't enough to keep out the September evening chill, and she shivered a bit. She was definitely regretting the dress right about now. Dot had doubted her choice of clothing for detention, but the elegant red dress was one of the simplest ones she owned. She shivered again, wrapping her arms around her slender body as she crossed the courtyard. She saw a girl come running out the door sobbing. Her typical reaction to that would be to maybe laugh at the girl and be on her way, but she felt guilty about her overall behavior that day and decided to try to be more empathic. 

"Excuse me, what's wrong?" Anastasia said gently as she approached the girl. Her heart leaped up to her throat when she saw that it was the Ravenclaw girl she had snapped at that morning. She was torn between her pride and her desire to be a bit nicer. Unfortunately, years of breeding won out over a five-minute old whim. Her pride was more important to her than anything else, and she had to appear consistent. Anyway, she was quite tired right then and didn't actually want to her what was wrong. She tapped her fingers on her thigh impatiently. She was annoyed at herself for started this interaction and resolved to end it as soon as she could. 

She reached up to brush her hair behind her ear before remembering it was still in a braid from detention. She hadn't wanted it to get messy or dirty so she had pulled it up out of her face, but she still wasn't adjusted to her long hair not being loose. 

Of course someone had to come by when Cecily was trying to figure things out by herself.

"Excuse me, what's wrong?"

a voice asked as Cecily continued to cry.

Cecily had recognized the voice, but it seemed a little gentler then she had remembered it. Interested to see who it was, and hoping that it was one of her friends to comfort her, Cecily looked up. She hoped the person standing there wasn't too frightened my her appearance. Her hair was all messed up from when she had put it up, her cheeks were colorless, her eyes were red and puffy, and her lips were shaking.
“Muriel? Is that you?” Cecily asked hopefully.

Her voice was not like her own voice. It was rather higher and sounded cracky. Cecily knew this was because of how much she cried and whimpered.

Muriel. That was who she was really hoping to see at this point. Muriel Carroll was kind, thoughtful, and pretty Ravenclaw girl who she had met at the Ravenclaw house cup party. Cecily loved her dearly and enjoyed being around her. The conversations they had at the party Cecily thoroughly liked. She was a good friend. When Cecily realized it was Anastasia, her expression was neither happy or mad. It was a puzzled expression.

"A-Anastasia? What are you doing here? I'm o-okay. I'll be fine. I-I'll figure it out," she squeaked, trying to find her voice.

Cecily hoped Anastasia had come to apologize. If she didn't, at least Cecily knew that Anastasia was making sure she was okay. That was an improvement.

Wondering what to do, Cecily sat there, still sobbing a little. Anastasia might have come there to apologize, maybe not. However, that little glimpse of Anastasia's face made Cecily think that Anastasia was not here to apologize. Cecily knew that Anastasia thought she did nothing wrong. And Cecily knew Anastasia did not mean to run into her. Finally, Cecily concluded that she had two options. One: She could apologize to Anastasia first, and most likely solve all their problems that day, or two: she could wait for Anastasia to apologize to her, since Anastasia should be the one to apologize first. There was no telling if Anastasia would ever apologize, which was the risk of not apologizing.

Of course, answering someone's question wasn't wrong of Anastasia, which is what she did earlier that day. Crying about something as silly as this made Cecily feel ashamed. Ashamed that she was crying about such a minor thing. But after all, Cecily never imagined that she would annoy someone at Hogwarts. Yes, Cecily was very good at imagining. Even something as simple as this Cecily could not imagine herself being the one to annoy or bother someone.

But Cecily knew she could not blame Anastasia for the incident. Well, partly she could, and partly she couldn't. Anastasia was only answering Cecily’s question that she had asked. Cecily was asking her what was wrong. If that truly what was bothering Anastasia, Cecily was crying about such a ridiculous thing, and that wasn’t Anastasia’s fault. After all, she had gotten herself into the little hole.

But something told her that Anastasia was not telling the truth. It surely was something else that she was worried or annoyed or angered about, not Cecily. Cecily thought for sure she wouldn't say that she was annoying her, but that perhaps her Astronomy homework was bothering her, or something else that had happened that day. Cecily did observe that Anastasia looked annoyed before Cecily approached her, which meant that Anastasia had to have been bothered by something else other than Cecily. Maybe Cecily only angered her more.

Anastasia was being honest, and maybe this was just a lesson for Cecily to take notice of. Perhaps in the future she shouldn't be as pushy, or it could end like this. Ending as Cecily finding herself crying after she thought she was about to become friends with someone.

Thinking about all these things made Cecily cry less, and she finally found herself not able to cry anymore. Whenever Cecily was in a deep thought, she was focused
on the thoughts. No more tears were coming out now. Maybe Cecily should try to do that more.

Taking a little break before she made a decision, Cecily looked around the Hogwarts grounds. Maybe she should just leave Anastasia. She could go back up to her dormitory and go read her favorite books, or go sleep, or finish homework. That seemed like the more easier solution at this point. She did have homework to finish. Cecily had only taken a little break from school this morning when she had gotten into a fight with the Gryffindor girl. She didn’t have any more time to waste with this situation. Cecily shook herself out of these thoughts. This matter had to be settled. Now.

Legs shaking, Cecily stood up to face Anastasia. The battle between her apologize or Anastasia apologizing was finished. Anastasia should apologize first. That part of Cecily won her over. That had to be the right thing to do.

"So, why did you come for me? I thought you were proud of making someone cry," Cecily said rather harshly and boldly.

The words came out of Cecily's mouth before she could stop them. After she said them she clapped a hand to her mouth. Cecily's stomach gave a humungous lurch too. She instantly regretted saying what she had said. Making Anastasia even more angry was not a good idea. This was an opportunity.. An opportunity to set things right, and Cecily pretty much destroyed that opportunity. She did not mean to be rude. She was trying to give a hint to Anastasia that she should apologize first.

"I mean, sorry, I didn't mean to be harsh. I-I," she stammered, unsure what to do. She hoped Anastasia knew she was sorry about what she had said, but there was no telling what would happen. Cecily knew she shouldn’t predict what Anastasia would say or do next.

Anastasia rather rolled her eyes when the girl asked if she was Muriel. No, she was clearly not Muriel, whomever that might be. Did crying make her blind? Well, maybe a bit. Anastasia knew when she cried her eyes were a bit foggy and sometimes she couldn't make out other people. One of the many, many reasons that she abhorred crying. In addition to the fact that it made her feel weak and silly and made her head hurt, it pulled down her defenses, leaving her completely vulnerable for whatever or whoever might come by and make mischief. 

She felt a pang of guilt when she saw the disheveled state of the girl, but that quickly vanished. She reminded herself of what her parents had always said when they saw her crying and she asked for help - You're the one that chose to cry. That's your problem, no one else's. 

The girl recognized her, and Anastasia bit her lip. A part of her still wanted to do the kind thing. Whenever she'd been in a situation like this before, her parents had always prevailed upon her to do the Beckett thing. Maybe for once, she could choose for herself. She mentally shook her head. No, she couldn't do that. Her parents were already quite angry with her and she was sure they'd even more so when they eventually heard about her detention.  

She'd made people cry in the past, but it had never felt quite like this. When she made people cry at home, depending on the person, Anastasia's parents would often commend her for it. She got a bit of a scolding when it was someone from a family that they approved of, but when it was anyone else, she'd get a pat on the back and an all too rare smile from her parents. That didn't mean that she like making people cry - it meant that she knew how, and would use it as often as not. She hadn't actually meant to make Cecily cry, she'd just wanted her to go away. 

Cecily's tears seemed to have slowed, and she looked as though she was in the middle of a deep thought. Anastasia tapped her foot as she waited for the girl's next words. This interaction was rather uncomfortable, and she wanted to get back to her common room. She resolved that she would make some sort of apology after the girl said whatever she was thinking. 

So, why did you come for me? I thought you were proud of making someone cry

Anastasia's brow furled at the girl's words. Was she trying to make Anastasia not want to apologize? In any event, there was no way Anastasia could swallow her pride and make her apology like she'd planned. She rolled her eyes and frowned at Cecily. "I didn't come for you. I was walking back to my common room and I happened across you. And if a stranger can make you cry this much, you need to toughen up," Anastasia told the girl shortly.   

Anastasia's reply did not surprise Cecily.

"I didn't come for you. I was walking back to my common room and I happened across you. And if a stranger can make you cry this much, you need to toughen up."

Cecily was, however, deeply hurt by her last sentence. "You need to toughen up?" Didn't Anastasia realize who Cecily was? Didn't she realize that Cecily had never been told that she had annoyed someone as much as this? No, apparently not, unfortunately. Cecily's eyes narrowed. Why couldn't Anastasia try to be nice? Why didn't she just apologize for what happened? It was her fault. She had made Cecily cry. Didn't she realize this was all her fault? Sure, Cecily pushed her with a question, but she shouldn't have gotten angry at Cecily.

This was Cecily's new argument against herself. Cecily had forgotten that this incident was partly her fault.

Didn't Anastasia realize that it was Cecily before she came over? She must have. Didn't she remember the clothing Cecily wore that day? Cecily was almost positive she did. Maybe Anastasia was going to apologize. But of course, Cecily had to ruin it!

"Look, I'm sorry for saying what I said. I never meant to say it, okay? It just came out," Cecily explained to her, making sure she didn't have any voice problems this time. Anastasia sure looked like Cecily was pathetic when that happened.

"As for what you said, I don't care what you think. I don't need your advice. I don't need advice from someone who just made me cry. I'm myself, and I cry at what you said earlier. You hurt my feelings. You should try softening up, too. You should try being nice to people instead of just acting on your emotions. It's not very nice to be unkind to someone else just because you're a grouchy mess! Imagine if you were me. Imagine if someone said that you were the one that was making them have such a gloomy day. And all you were doing was just trying to comfort and help them. How would you feel?"

Cecily didn't care if she was crying or looked terrible that day, but she hoped she had put something in Anastasia mind that would stay there for a while. Anastasia definitely did not realize that she had said something very rude. She didn't realize that she was talking to Cecily. Cecily was a person who would cry about those kinds of things. Cecily could cry very easily, even if it was something as minor as this.

The Ravenclaw girl looked around. She really wasn't accomplishing anything crying. Anastasia definitely did not look like she wanted to apologize, and Cecily did not want to keep hanging around Anastasia. She didn't like to at this point.

"Well, I'd better get going if you don't mind. I do have homework to finish," Cecily finally said, fixing her hair again. At this point, she finally felt back to normal again. Her eyes were still a little puffy and her cheeks still hadn't turned back to her normal color, but at least Cecily had pulled her self together by not continuing to cry.

"Well, I guess I'll see you around, Anastasia," Cecily said, started to get up.

This was Cecily's last chance to apologize. It made for since for Cecily to apologize now since she had messed everything up now. Cecily almost took the chance. As she turned to leave she turned back to Anastasia.

"I-I," she started to say, but then shook her head.

She wasn't going to apologize first.

Anastasia should still be the one to apologize first.

That decision would still stay the same for her.

Continued in: The Stars Align

"As for what you said, I don't care what you think. I don't need your advice. I don't need advice from someone who just made me cry. I'm myself, and I cry at what you said earlier. You hurt my feelings. You should try softening up, too. You should try being nice to people instead of just acting on your emotions. It's not very nice to be unkind to someone else just because you're a grouchy mess! Imagine if you were me. Imagine if someone said that you were the one that was making them have such a gloomy day. And all you were doing was just trying to comfort and help them. How would you feel?"